The subtitle of this post? "Oh, Lordy...kirbyfest was right (and that's not the first time we'll be hearing that)."

So I happened to watch two eps that were thematically linked. It was an accident, as everything is in my Watch LOCI Horrifically Out of Order Adventure.

First, 6x12, "Privilege," aka Richard Kind is Always Guilty aka The One After "The War At Home" aka Doris Roberts: Because Glynis Johns Wasn't Available:

( Hey! Did you know Goren has Mom Issues? Also: Eames and Her Little Black Dress )

Then...oh, then...7x03, "Smile" aka Fred from Angel is the Least Convincing Exec Ever aka KIRBYFEST IS RIGHT OH GOD SHE'S RIGHT SEASON 7 IS ABOUT THEM BREAKING UP!!!

( OH GOD )

Hey, remember season 2, when the grossly tan vet in the Speedo wouldn't stop hitting on Eames?




Good times! Good...

*boohoohoohoohoohoohoooooooooooooo*

Let's have a fun poll!
( LOCI Crazy: What To Wear Edition )

1) I keep seeing a headline in my Yahoo! Entertainment news that makes me laugh inappropriately: "Nick Hogan Turns 18, Treated Like a Man."

As a fan of the documentary series Oz (whenever I share my knowledge about prison life, this is how I cite), I bet he got treated like a man. All the way. Hopefully not with a spoon like Robson or, um, with a Beecher bite like Robson (poor Robson; prison sex just was not kind to that man).

2) I started watching the LOCI Ep I Have Seen So Many Times, I Should Be Able to Recite It, 2x05 "Bright Boy". And I was deeply tickled by the following exchange:
Goren: The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. It tests social adjustment.
Eames: I remember this. We had to take it the last year of high school.
Goren: So did we.
Eames: How'd you do?
Goren: I had to go to my counselor's office and have a talk with the school shrink. What about you?
Eames: I was so well-adjusted they voted me prom queen.

And Goren's look after she says that is priceless.

3) Continuing my obsessive pursuit of The D'Onof: romantic lead... okay, the following link is NSFW because:
3a) it involves sex
3b) Tracey Ullman
3c) Tracey Ullman simulating sex

So you know what it involves. If you watch it, I don't want to see any typity-typed pearl clutching.

Here's the deal: ( The Deal About Household Saints )

4) Um, on that note? Less a picspam than a series of pictures that make me also feel flushed and confused: Jason Wiles as (stealing all adjectives from upsy_daisy) the pragmatic, scruffy, sexy, charming, and slightly assholish Eps on last night's ep of In Plain Sight.

( I'm a cop, you jerk! )

Take that, Levine.

Brunch plans with morganaus (playing Florence N. back in Cleves) and upsy_daisy (working for a living, living and a-working, taking what Huey Lewis is giving...) fell through, so Kate and I had a nice romantic Sunday lunch/brunch at Cafe Selmarie. We had mimosas and food and then enjoyed Lincoln Square's sidewalk sale (lots of shoes, K.).

Speaking of upsy_daisy: oh, Bosco. Seriously: Faith is right to mock.

( I promise I'll get help! )

In baseball news: I guess Ron Santo said of Mighty Mike, "Little Babe Ruth, big boy."

And in LOCI news, DEAKINS IS A PIRATE WHAT LOL?

HAHAHAHA! The AFI's tribute to unabashed horndogging and long-lost potential Warren Beatty! "Jack Nicholson! Robert Downey Jr! Al Pacino! Bill Clinton! And more!" SHOT OF QUENTIN TARANTINO ONLY! I suppose I shouldn't love that so much. Especially in the face of having just looked at Jack Nicholson, in his shades, laughing it up like the monstrous egotistical camera hog he is. But still and all: burn. Burnity burn, Snorts Coke Off Thai Hookers.

IPS. On the one hand: good performances by the guest stars; Mary and Marshall stuff is HILARIOUS, particularly the Back to the Future discussion; Fred Weller in jeans.

On the other: oh, my, the awkward levels of preachiness and ham-handed handling of Issues and Mary's Father Issues. BLAH.

Could someone write me the missing Awkward Make-up Scene? It doesn't necessarily have to have sex in it. I swear.

Okay.

Third Watch: Hey! Heard LOCI was a bit of a letdown tonight. So. Tell ya what. (straps on hobnail boots) This might hurt a bit.

(COMMENCE THE RED-ASS BEATDOWN ON MY HEART)

TY! Sully! TY!!! TYYYYYY!!!!

Also: Bosco's hair:





That cowlick is my favorite thing ever. That and his grand romantic heart that he coats in a crunchy layer of pain-in-the-assery and bigotry.

Does it make me kind of a creep if I say that kid and dog were both kind of doomed by the whole "survival of the fittest" thing? I mean, honestly.

ETA: ( Let the hobnailing continue )

Hi! I'm back!

1) YES.

2) While I've always loved Bon Appegeek, sometimes it's at its funniest and most engaging when things don't go Annie's way: chiffon cake = *frowny*

(BTW, our utilities, gas and electric, for this 2 BR, are probably about $250 a month at their HIGHEST in the winter)

3) Sam's Greatest Hits on Burn Notice.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh. I missed you, Internet.

Back from Wisconsin for a few days of Not-for-Profit Jamberooing. But it's all worth it to introduce you all to the Cubs, in tandem with cdeacon. And hopefully, this will help them win tonight at The Cell. Because I jinxed them yesterday by tuning in to WGN Radio in the ninth inning.

So if you like big men, slightly frightening men, Muppety men, ridiculously gorgeous men, Jersey men, or, you know, baseball, let's get to know...

( The infield )

( The outfield )

And now some of the pitchers:
( Beginning with Carlos Zambrano, My Future Husband... )

Hope you enjoyed getting to know the Northside boys. I know I've enjoyed fantasizing about what it would be like to be Mrs. Carlos Zambrano...if Geo won't have me...just kidding, Z! And many, many thanks to cdeacon for obsessing with me.

Go, Cubs, Go!

Kate and I watched Gavin DeGraw's new video on VH1 on Sunday.
1. He don't want to be oh chariot, guys. He do want to be Adam Levine, judging from the production on the single. Do they all go to the same recording studio?
2. That hat? Really? Really?
3. Kristin Z.Cavaricci from Laguna Beach? Really? Really? Though she really sells the lingerie montage. She's no Heidi Maytag from The Hills, but I guess she's good enough for a Dane Cook of Pop Music vid.

---

piecesofalice took time from her busy manifesto writing (which she's crafting in her underground bunker, by the light of a candle crafted from beeswax she harvested herself) to write a Charlie and Dani from Life go to Target fic: The Zen of Target.

So that makes:
firthgal, Kelly/Andy, The Office

kirbyfest, Jarod/Miss Parker, The Pretender

anxietygrrl, Ray/Neela, ER

lolitalolita, Harold/Andy, Everwood

Lassiter/Juliet, Psych (and you know, someone besides me? More than welcome to write them going to Target too! Really! I'd also buy you a Mariah Carey unicorn if'n you do!)

and piecesofalice, even though she thinks the Internet was created by demons, all officially cooler than you.

Hurts, doughnut?

(I don't think anxietygrrl knew what she was starting with this. MY THIRST FOR TARGET FIC CANNOT BE SLAKED. "SLAKED?" THAT'S A WORD, RIGHT?)

ETA: I'm watching an old ep of L&O:SVU on USA (Character of the Month? Jay Z), and someone just told Olivia to "stop chasing phantom sex crimes."

Phantom Sex Crimes? Totally the name of my new band. And my stage name is going to be Benson's inconspicuous alias Persephone James.

So spaketh Harry: " I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts."



( I even let Shawn be in this one: 2x02, 65 Million Years Off Redux )

Happy, happy birthday, piecesofalice!
A day early! Or a week early? I think! Australia is in a different time zone than Chicago, right? Or a different calendar year? Or...your birthday really isn't on St. Patty's Day and is, instead, later in March?

The Pancake Flight

( No Country for Old Men, Mrs. Bell and Wendell )

---

( Life, Ted and Dani )

---

( Psych, Lassiter/Juliet )

Here's hoping you have another year full of rakes and "tl;dr old men are hot" posts.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

---

I was all set to be in a prepatory PTSD way about Robin Hood.

Then I saw this...Whitesnake, y'all. Guy/Marian vid set to Whitesnake.

taraljc posted the following delightful meme: Which clips, if seen on endless repeat and from absolutely any source, would give some impression of what it's like to live inside our heads?

I could not find the Homer Simpson's Brain Has Olde-Tymey Cartoons That Play "Turkey in the Straw" on YouTube...but this answer is probably more honest anyway:


piecesofalice is having a hard day, so based on the following photo:
( Tess Harper and her awkward like-a-son Garret Dillahunt )

I give you...pancakes.

( A little made-up story about the day before the SAG Awards; it's like RPF only...ridiculous and about brunch )

ETA for anxietygrrl, who is Helping America tonight:



"Dear...A. Girl...keep reachin'...a-for the cherries! There you go, my friend."

And so on. In that manner.

*Shane West guitar solo, y'all!*

I was going to wait for piecesofalice to show her sunny face online and pressure her for a picspam, but...I couldn't stand it. I had to do it.

( Last night's ep of Psych, in picture form... )

See, what I'd do normally is have a bunch of hilarious and/or pithy comments.

Can't do that when every comment I can make is either "ZOMG!" or "BWHAHAHAH!" or "ZOMGBHAEALKJSDJFLHAHAH?NINER?"

Before I start, did anyone else see the commercial for "In Plain Sight"? That looks awesome. It'll fill some time before Burn Notice starts again. Because it WILL start again.

( Selected screencaps from last night's ep of Psych )

And that was just the FIRST SCENE.

( ETA!!! )

The Kates had friends over for New Year's Eve. We ate Ray-Ray's fake-bake ziti, fondue (with Nutella!), and drank.

I have come to the conclusion that even in moderation, I am no longer built for hard liquor. Three or four Maker's and Diet Coke (give or take a few glasses of white wine and champagne) and my stomach is miserable this morning.

What? Oh, afternoon.

Anyway, it's not like I'm barfy. Just uncomfortable.

And it's continuing to snow (no reference to Rent intended).

So: perfect excuse to peruse the Yuletide New Year's Resolution list and start one or two lines of stories one will never finish, eh?

---

Anyway: big props to my author, elsandry. Because it was my first year making a request, I didn't know how this thing works (goodbye, folks!) and gave her nothing with which to do much of anything. She had to come over to my not-linked-to-the-site Yuletide Letter, read my ramblings, et cetera. The result: awesomeness. She's clearly one in a million.

My story was "When Gus Met Shawn (And She-Ra)". kattahj, I hope that it did what you wanted for Gus, who clearly loves pop culture and sugar and Shawn (perhaps not in that order). I'm sort of embarrassingly into other aspects of the show, so...

But I love Gus and Dulé! It was fun to write! And I bought He-Man/She-Ra Christmas on DVD during my Black Friday shopping rampage, so I sort of robbed from RL experience.

Now that The Reveal is over, I also rec the story I was blessed enough to beta, piecesofalice's profane and lovely Al and Dan (but not Al/Dan...because eek) story, "The Most Faithful of Reminders".

Okay, I'm off to attempt to write Celia/Nancy for Weeds!

Or maybe just eat Maalox and stare at Anchorman for a while.

---

Eek! Also, thanks, aj, for visiting our pad AND taking Kate and myself on a mini-tour of Devon! Yay! So much fun to talk fandom and roommate stuff and just whatevs with you. Sunday, man!!!

So:

1) I have a cleaver now. anniejs, quick! Tell me what to cleave!

2) I am going to be an aunt. This opens a new chapter in my life. So many children's books to buy.

3) My Yuletide gift, "Affirmation," which catered to my ridiculous Sam/Fi whims, while he is injured, no less (!!!), is truly a Christmas miracle. I have yet to crack the cover on the rest of yuletide, as it is very daunting. But I think I'm going to start in Gosford Park. Because yay.

4) I watched Stardust, 7/8 of Spider-Man II on FOX (Fox: It's like cable...up nord!), and 40+ minutes of Live Free or Die Hard. Though Bruce Willis only got better with age, I think I was explosion-ed out from SMII.

Also, the car/helicopter scene? Really, movie? Really?

5) My dad is now a member of the UCC church where my mom's funeral was held. He has attended every Sunday since. He knows people there who genuinely seem to like and care about him.

This did not stop my brothers and I from busting up laughing when the lyrics "ox and ass" appeared on the PowerPoint during service on Sunday.

6) morganaus?! Are you back? Because for realsies:
( FOR REALSIES )

7) I need to go see Juno. And eat a gyro. Hooray Lincoln Square! You have both!

8) piecesofalice?! Did you see No Country for Old Men?

9) LJ! I missed you! You are so, so entertaining! And several of you cooked over the holiday, which is SO exciting to read about!

I'm not very big on the Christmas Wish List memes, but one of piecesofalice's requests interested me--because Christmas is, of course, about reflecting on what most benefits ME and makes ME happy--and afforded me the opportunity to harangue aj into making loverly cover art. Seriously, look at it:


So even without songs, this is already a rad fanmix, right?

But you get songs too! Sorry, it's my first, so it's probably a little weak on variety and...general...things. But it's the thought that counts, and my thought was, "After I force aj to make bitchin' cover art, I will dig through my Brit Pop and formulate...LIFE!!! LIFE IS AWESOME!!!"

Anyway, merry early Xmas, piecesofalice. Enjoy this with gooseburgers and eggnog made from bourbon and ice cubes.

( Tie My Hands: A Life Fanmix, featuring songs for Charlie, Dani, Ted...Even Roman! )

Hope this improves your night more than conflicted feelings about Hot Garrett Jesus.

Okay, everyone, the late night writing staffs are on strike, so do your best/worst:
Jonathan Rhys Meyers arrested in Dublin Airport for drunk and disorderly.

Extra bonus points if you work Bono into the joke. Obscurity points awarded if you make some kind of complicated reference to JRM's character in Velvet Goldmine.

No one will think less of you for going with the obvious "drunk in the Dublin Airport" joke a la Family Guy.

Life and P-Run conflict? What's a sister to do???

O, Tim Gunn, guide me to make the right decision at 10/9 Central.

Word up, Yuletide person.

I apologize: this is my first year, and rather than give you a bunch of detail, I did one-word prompts. Which was dumb of me. Anyway:
( Cut for the fanficless people on my list )

In short, I'm very excited, and I'm sure anything you do will make me giddy with happiness. Hooray for Yuletide. Excelsior. Hooray for Hollywood. You rock.

A friend always,
Jessie

So I'm a little nervous. I got my prompts. Out of the four, I know one fandom well and one vaguely. Two others? Haven't even heard of. Yikes. I hope I do right by this person.

Edited for any potential NYR writers! Sorry I'm a bonehead.